JILL (funny jk, but a bit sick)
So this new bar opens and the owner cant think of a name.
So he decides to name the bar after the 3rd person who walks in. It takes dosent take long and soon the 3rd customer walks in.
The owner jumps up and walks over to the girl. "Youre the 3rd person to enter my bar and I"m going to name it after you.""Okay," she says, "my name is Jill."
The owner looks her over and says, "I like your legs so I"m going to name the bar "Jills Legs"!"
The next day a bum is sitting outside the bar and a cop askes him what hes doing.
He answers, "Waiting for Jills Legs to open so I can get a drink!"

UNHAPPY WOMAN(saddistic+hilarious)
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them.
She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open.
She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result-the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door,she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said: "Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your cat."

OMG really saddistic, gruelsome, make me think of the squashed lizard at the court
ARGH (throwing up) =)
hope i dun screw up my jap eoy next week